And if not, he is still good.
Do you ever look around at others and wonder, how do they have it so easy? Why did it work out so quickly for them? They haven’t felt the hardship of x,y,z…
Often self pity is quickly followed by guilt. Guilt of maybe being a little judgmental. Guilt of dismissing whatever hard realities they actually may be facing behind closed doors. Guilt of losing sight of God’s will for each one of us.
You are not alone.
It is incredibly hard to carry suffering with grace. To allow it to transform us closer to Christ. This is hard to do in daily life, let alone while pursuing an adoption.
Adoption, as we know, is rooted in brokenness. In a perfect world, adoption would not exist. However, we do not live in that perfect world yet and the complexities of adoption are ever so prevalent. The raw pain and loss of adoption is in each member of the triad. Loss for the birth parents. Loss for the adoptee. Loss for the adoptive family in some way shape or form. Each member of the adoption triad is impacted in different ways. This is why it is important to learn and appreciate the experiences of one another. Listening, understanding, and empathizing with each other’s stories, just as Jesus did.
We hear in Psalm 34:8, “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”. As hard as it is to carry disappointment and the frustrations throughout an adoption journey all while trusting in God’s sovereignty, that is exactly what we are asked to do. To be still and sit in the suffering, to use it for good in this life and in the next.
No matter what heartache you may be facing in your adoption journey right now, God is working. He is using the quiet, the hard challenges, the disappointments and the hope you feel to bring you closer to Him. Lean into the resources provided. Listen to the perspective of birth parents, adoptees, and other adoptive families. Most importantly, lean into Him and share the depths of your heart because He is there. He will carry you through.
I love the bible verse from Daniel 3:18.
“ and if not, He is still good”.
How true this is because let’s be honest so often we experience the “and if not…” Our prayers aren’t answered the way we want. We do not see the perfect outcomes. We can get bogged down in not understanding the why of whatever situations we or our loved ones face both in and out of adoption: Depression. Cancer. Addiction. Infertility. Abuse. You name it. It is natural to question God’s goodness in these circumstances. We are limited to our own human understanding. This does not change the fact that His GOODNESS remains.
It takes our own choice and action to lean into Him during the disappointments. I encourage you to take 3-5 minutes, grab a sheet of paper and list all the goodness that has come from what has you feeling forgotten. You are not forgotten and He is there. He is working. You may just be surprised at the goodness you may have not seen before.
